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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

5:17 PM

Okay, so they let me in after eons.. I am grateful..

I don't really know whether I should tell you people this or not but.. yeah.. okay..

I'm really depressed..

Really really depressed..

So, Auntie Annies, read this and tell me your honest opinion..

Oh, and if Sprout is reading this, I'd like to wish her a Happy Birthday or a Happy Belated Birthday or a Happy Early Birthday. Choose.

Well, you people might / might not have remembered that I'm gonna have a birthday, which is right after DUMB's one. And I kinda don't want it to come..

Oh yeah, DUMB -- HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!

Not that I know that I'm going to die on that day or what, but it because my clique's been pressurizing me a lot to tell them what I want..

And even I tell them that I hell don't want anything, and that to donate everything to charity, I doubt they'll listen.

You see, I've been really upset when I heard that in third world countries, babies actually die in every 8 seconds because they've been bloated and all it takes to cure this is a simple cheap exotic kind of salt..

And they are wiped off from Planet Earth just because they can't afford it, and I just feel really upset cos I've like.. lived on this surface for 13 [coming 14] years and these kids just live for.. what.. a few days? A few hours? Minutes? Seconds?

But I don't even think my clique understands my frustration and they think I'm.. I dunno.. trying to make things difficult for them..

And even though they are my clique members, I don't.. okay, not that I don't trust them, but I don't confide in them..

I mean, for goodness sake, they've only known me for a year and a few months while HFC people has already known me for.. what.. 4 or 6 years..? And I don't think they understand me alot still..

And I feel kinda.. depressed when I even think how these people will feel.

I feel kinda sick thinking about it.. But what do you people think I should do?

Paste a smile on my face and nod like a dummy everytime my clique asks me what I want for my birthday and tell them like.. I want a Barbie doll, a Polly Pocket Set.. etc..?

Or just look solemn and sad and cry whenever some idiot asks me what I want yet refuse to tell them my predicament..?

Or I just simply, tell them why I want them to donate all the money they're gonna spend on me to charity so they'll hopefully understand and help some school in Cambodia or what?

I mean, I have everything I need. Okay, so maybe sometimes I want a better life and yearn for somethings which some may call post-materialism but yeah, I have all the basic necessities.

And these people like.. don't have all that I've got and I kinda feel quite.. let's say.. guilty..

I dunno, I feel kinda miserable.

Oh, and I'm glad glad glad that nobody in my school's got access to the HFC web. If not, I'll be.. I dunno.. maybe even more upset that lots of people in my class know this..

I don't want the whole world to know. Really. But I don't think everyone on Earth would find this website, accidentally or not.

But yeah, just tell me what you people might do or just.. simply, tell me what to do..

Thanks a lot.

Blue as the blue bottle can be,

Minerva
SO DEEP



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